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....Original Northstate Comedy Since 1978....
Scott Brown Says He's Not Sure
     Which Daughter Is Hotter

Jan. 22, 2010
Boston, Mass.

Senator-elect Scott Brown (R-Mass.), whose first public proclamation was to announce the availability of his teenage daughters, told a crowd of supporters in downtown Boston that he has a hard time deciding which of them is hotter.

"Well, the youngest one has a smokin' body and bigger boobs," bragged the man who will be filling the Massachusetts Senate seat of Edward Kennedy."But the oldest one has a cuter face and looks like she knows how to make a man happy."

Asked by a stunned reporter if he was only joking, Brown replied "Of course I'm just kidding. Why should a guy have to pick between them when he could just get double teamed? Hell, I can't even tell the difference when they're bending over."

As the crowd began to groan and boo, Brown waved his arms and tried to quell the uproar.

"I didn't mean that. I'm just kidding. Of course I can tell the difference. The younger one is a natural blond with great inner leg gap and the older one looks just like her mother before childbirth kept me from ever looking at it again."

The man who beat Attorney General Martha Coakley to become the first Republican senator from Massachusetts since 1979 has issued an apology for his remarks.

"I want to make it clear that I love my daughters. I mean, who wouldn't?
As a father, I just wanted the world to know how hot they are. Is that a crime?
Could be. So I'm apologizing just in case. And I want to state, for the record, that I have no favorites among my daughters. You could put a bag over both their heads and I'd be happy to have either one. I'm sure most fathers would say that."

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