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....Original Northstate Comedy Since 1978....
Early Thanksgiving Ruins Girl's 12th Birthday
What A Gyp!
November 19, 2012
Town-of-Arlings, MA.

Thanksgiving is always the fourth Thursday of November. This year that day is the 22nd, the earliest date possible. That means soon-to-be-twelve-year-old girl Uhaul Jordan’s November 26th birthday will fall on a Monday for the first time in her short and recent memory.

While most people are happy to have another week of Christmas shopping and digestion, Ms. Jordan, of Town-of-Arlings in Massachusets, will be doing something she has never done--attend school on her birthday.

“What a gyp! I always have off on my birthday,” the Harry Potter and Hunger Games fan lamented while washing down her shin bowl noodles with a blue Slurpee. “I always thought the whole country took off the historic occasion of my birth. Now I find out it was really just about turkey and pie. I guess this means that big parade in New York wasn’t for me either. Gyp!””

When assured by family and friends that her birthday would still be properly celebrated, she was dubious and posted as much in her online blog "Uhaul Y'all".

“How will I celebrate? By doing math problems? That doesn't add up! Pizza in the cafeteria? No candles allowed! Getting lost on my way to gym class? Big whoop, I do that every day! How am I supposed to go bowling or watch "Hotel Transylvania" when I’m in school? There had better be extra presents this year or I'm staying eleven. A Nintendo 3DS and miniature golf membership might help ease my suffering.”

Next year, Thanksgiving falls on November 28th, putting Uhaul’s birthday two days before the national holiday. That’s right, another school day. Don’t tell Uhaul. What a gyp!


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