Header Graphic
....Original Northstate Comedy Since 1978....
Guzzetti Attacked For Being Assaulted
First on the Street, Second Time in E-R Comments

A Real Open Letter from the Real David Guzzetti: What a week! I was attacked and assualted from behind near the farmers market. I made the mistake of politely approaching a road rager. The man ID'd me and spewed forward with a torrent of hate accumulated from my 16 years on the city council. I was injured (and had just gotten out of the hospital earlier that week) and he has been found. Law enforcement is now dealing with it. And of course, the news story brought out outrageous lies and distortions about myself from crazies, tea baggers and vigilantes. Most comments, via the Enterprise Record's 'off the record' and their website stated that I deserved to be beaten. Thank goodness I have family and many friends!

March 2, 2010
Chico, CA

After escaping from one of The Crazies (possibly from the movie or a teabag party) who allegedly assaulted him Saturday morning over a parking space dispute and his reputation as a left wing liberal activist, former Chico City Councilman David Guzzetti was attacked a second time when the story appeared in today's Chico Enterprise-Record.

As of 8:30 this morning, the twenty-five comments from readers of the story were as vicious as illiterates can get without using misspelled curse words. There was not a single letter of support, only anonymous posts hoping that the attacker would be caught so "we can hear the true story" and "give him a medal".

Here's a few REAL comments from REAL people (hiding behind fake names) from this morning's E-R website:

guzzetti has an elevated sense of self worth--i must admit hes come a long way sense he was a "professional panhandler" in san franscisco,prior to moving to chico--caine

He is a habitual liar and the consument whiny liberal. --ProtectYourPropertyRights(PYPR)

He's still looking for fame and an easy buck.-Chubby Sneakers

He is the poster child for leftwing hate and disrespect.-Try Common Sense

Dave, I can't believe you've never got a smack in the mouth before.-Little Ears

Chico hates our City counsel, past and present. Whoever got away with this one is a hero and a patriot.-ChicoVoter

As disagreeable and nasty Guzzetti was in that position of power he is a legend only in his own mind.--The ever-prolific PYPR

11:00 a.m. update: A few notes of support for Guzzetti have been posted, but the beatings continue--

The most shocking thing is that this arrogant loud mouth hasn't had his butt kicked before. It's a good thing he didn't confront me looking for a fight.--Chick Magnet

He's always been confrontation, aggressive, arrogant, and has a incredibly foul mouth when he gets worked up - which is often. So I do hope they find who tackled him, we need to congratulate him and get him a gift certificate or something. Honorary mayor? Key to the city?--Wow

Love the comments today...keeping my mind off what Obama & Pelosi are doing to our country!!--Michelle

Sounds like this mystery guy did all of us a public service... thanks dude.-Good Grief

'Bout time somebody gave this leftist POS his due.-Liberal

I heard that Guzzetti likes to drive around in a van and offer little girls candy to help him find his dog. After he gets the girl home he forces her to shock his balls with a car battery while he smokes crack and listens to techno. Then when he is done with her he sells her to the South America sex traffickers.-Chicovoter
(The Standard: Hmm, this guy might actually be working our turf...)

We couldn't make that shit up. Well, we could but it would be funnier. We didn't quote the more personal attacks, which were too much for even the E-R editors to leave up for more than a few hours. Most of those comments were posted before the professional haters even had a chance to finish breakfast. By the time you read this (you are reading this, aren't you?) the sharks will have smelled Guzzetti's tired blood and begun gnawing on his bad liver with lima beans and boxed wine.

The diminutive KZFR radio host is used to taking a beating in the press, but not usually for taking one himself. "I forgot my training as a cowardly liberal wuss," said Guzzetti in a made up conversation with The Standard, "I guess I should have just hidden behind the tracks of my tears."

Guzzetti, of course, did not make that comment and you would have to be an average reader of the E-R to think he did.

COMMENT FROM GRAND WIZARD OF AN AMERICAN: And did you know that David Gussuetti picked up some liver diseeese while serving as a medic oversees in a war WE LOST!!! and he expects our health care system to help fix hymm. That ER is so liberal it makes me sick.

COMMENT FROM STAN GREENE: Is is true the guy was yelling "What's the frequency, Kenneth?" the whole time?

You can send best wishes to David and check out the latest issue of The Guzzetti Gazette here


Return To Archives

Return To Merry Standish Standard Main Page