Jan. 1, 2010
Chico, CA
So-called comedian Aaron Standish says that so-called singer/songwriter Steve 'Stevie ' Cook lost " a pile" of Standish's pornographic DVDs.
" I understand how that can happen," wrote a drunk Standish in his online blog, " You go to an orgy and you leave your porno in someone else's DVD player, of course you don't want to go back. The last time you saw them you probably had your dick in their ear and chances are the cat still hates you, but this is about personal responsibilty. "
Asked by himself to clarify if he actually meant that Cook lost his pornography at an orgy, Standish backtracked a little. " How would I know? Maybe he just felt bad laying there in a crunchy half dry pool of his own cum and threw 'em away. I've done that before. "
Standish says Cook tried to make it up to him by giving the alleged comic his own personal porn collection.
" It was an old cardboard box full of sticky VHS tapes from 1988, " typoed Standish, " Boy, was big hair everywhere in 1988....of course those WERE the Bush years." He wisely signed off with a rimshot.
Cook is famous for the birthing song " Simple Child " which is played by midwives the world over to postpone labor. He was never contacted for comment.
Stevie Cook commented:
What can I say? It's one thing to bang your friend's wife or clean out their liquor cabinet, but losing their porn collection... well that's just unforgivable. Aaron, if you can find it in your heart...Liz, does this mean we can't have sex anymore? As for "Simple Child", I was concerned about over-population and the song was my feeble attempt to slow things down. Unfortunately, there are brave souls that are willing to undergo almost anything to get in here.
Love, Stevie
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