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....Original Northstate Comedy Since 1978....
Tea Party Poetry
by Aaron Standish

I Don't Trust The Smarties
So I Joined The Tea Party
I'm Not Hooked On Phonics
I Speak Fluent Teabonics

Obama's The Cause Of My Grief
He's The Commander In Thief
I Want My Country Back, Man
From The Scary Black Man

Where Is His Birth Certificate?
I Want To See It In Triplicate
Signed by Leviticus
Sealed With His Momma's Kiss

And Even If I Know That It's Real
I'll Still Be Pissed

Repeal Obamacare
That's All I Wanna Hear
It's All I'll Ever Say
All Day, Every Day
Every Which Way
Until They Vote It Away

Don't Need Free Health Care
That's Just A Way To Scare
Joe The Plumber
And His Mother
And Every Other One Of My Teabag Brothers

Don't Want To Pay No New Taxes
Don't Want To Hear No New Facts's
And I Can Say With Surety
Cut The Government (Not My Social Security)

No Evolution In My Church 
No Funding Stem Cell Research
I'm A 21st Century John Birch

When The Time Finally Comes
I Got My Bible And Guns
My Second Amendment Solution
Is Absolute Absolution

Give Me My Minuteman Orders
I'll Stand Guard At The Border
Build A Great Big Fence
Keep Out Them Immigrants

They'd Take My Job (If I Had One)
Find A Better Rhyme Than This Bad One
I Wanna See 'Em All Banished
'Cause I'm Too Dumb To Learn Spanish

Am I Conservative Or Libertarian?
Either Way, I Fired The Librarian!

I Like To Be Contrarian
Back Ted Cruz Or Santarium
Still Dream About Nailin' 
Sweet Sarah Palin

Can't Get My Filla
The Girl From Wasilla
The Quitter On Twitter
If She'd Just Answer The Call
I Wouldn't Have To Vote For Rand Paul

Tea Party (on the way) Out!


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